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The 5th Annual "Wide Open" started early, with breakfast at Hays Street (time for a carbo reload) at 7:00AM! All the players were there, but our videographer (HFTB) was missing. Oh well, we'll save money on his cart!
After a safe (how unusual is that?) drive to Hawthorne and the Walker River Country Club, it was time for the Commish of Golf--the honorable Smilin' Jim--to take charge.
The teams: Long Balls - OD, Professor, Hands, and Mayor Team Vaseline - Slomax, Sparky, and Sperm 3D's (Dumb, Dumber, and Dumbest) - 3D, Walkbucks, and Greener. Had More Fun - Smilin' Jim, Quiet, POD
The brewskies started to flow, and the talent started to ebb (get it?) but as usual, The Commish of Golf managed to field some teams with equally bad
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abilities--and the day ended with a three way tie (at one over) between the Long Balls, 3D's, and Had More Fun.
Smilin' Jim was prepared! He immediately called for a "closest to the pin" tiebreaker shootout at #15--the 140 yard tee-to-green shot between two rows of
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80 foot Aspens--a can of corn!
Only two shots made the green, and how poetic that it was GREENER that was closest! (sorry OD) That meant the 3D's, dumb as they come, won the 5th Annual Rhino's Wide Open!
Other notables:
Longest Drive--POD (ya think?) Closest to Pin #15--Walkbucks Closest to Pin #17--No Winner (although Smilin' Jim did get close on a second try and was "beggin'")
After a Victory Beer in the Clubhouse, we took the $147.00 prize pool back to Rhino's for cocktails! As usual...it wasn't enough--we had to kick another $10 each to cover the "early evening" tab!
Even in the midst of the basketball game on that night, the trash-talk was already starting…..about the 6th Annual Rhino's Wide Open!
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Thursday May 31st: The anticipation regarding the 28th Annual was unrestrained, as Walkbucks and OD started early and met up in Lone Pine; LTR, CR, and T stayed over in Mammoth; and Smilin' Jim and Sperm shacked up with Hands; all desperate to get to B-Port early! First in was Lewd, who was solo at the Best Western on Thursday night!
Friday June 1st: Guys started showing up at around 10:30 AM--already talking about how this was their year! Time to win the derby--time to get their name on the plaque! There was a crew at the Bridgeport Inn, and folks at the Walker River Lodge, but most ended up at Doc 'n Al's or Mono Village as usual. News of the Professor's recent transition into "the cloth" raised eyebrows. How would the Reverend Professor manage? (we later found out--he managed "as usual") As we set up camp up at Mono Village, Walkbucks whipped his big one out! No, not that one-you dickweeds-it was his
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